you incite me to chorus

slow down, literally

i'm going to try and write everything at once tonight. a lot has been going on. i just got finished doing a yoga video that i bought today...on impulse. i decided it was something i've wanted to try, so i'm going to and that's that. kind of like life, i'm learning to go with impulses, because nothing is guaranteed.

i could have died last night. it's so surreal. so real. the fact that i would have died on an inconspicuous road down in georgia and none of my family would have known where i was, and i wouldn't have been able to tell anyone good-bye...and yeh. here's the scoop: i went down to georgia to visit my chapel hill friend and my best friend from high school for a couple of days. on my way back, it was raining, and i needed to stop to get gas. i changed lanes to the right lane as someone was changing lanes to the left lane immediately infront of me. I'm guessing the water they kicked up was not compatible to the direction my wheels were going (or that it was just a bad spot in the road) and my car began to hydroplane. you never really learn about how to handle a car in conditions like what i was in. anyways, so because i was slowing down for the exit, the car infront of me was gone, and by the grace of God, no one was behind me to be in the path of my car performing two pirouettes on the interstate before landing in the ditch on the right side of the road. i remember tryingt o get control of my car and counter it to keep me from going into the middle median, and perhaps onto oncoming traffic (there was no middle guard). i remember as the car was going towards the ditch, time slowed down...or maybe it feels like it slowed down now that i think about how that could have been the last sequence of my life. all i could do was press the breaks and hold the wheel and prayed out loudly to God not to let my car flip over. I envisioned it flipping two or three times. I even braced myself for the impact. but God had other plans - the ditch cradled me and my car safely. i couldn't move my car, but i was not bruised or hurt or anything. i thought to call 9-1-1. i couldn't even talk. luckily, in other acts of God's mercy and grace, at the same time of my dance down highway 20, a highway patrolman was coming in the opposite direction and another person both stopped to help me. i'm sure i probably looked like a deer caught in headlights. i was just hyperventillating - about to die in amazement that i didn't die. i just hung up with the 9-1-1 dispatcher (now that i think about it, it's kind of messed up they didn't call me back to see if i was all right) and the patrol guy assured me that i was going to be all right, that my car didn't look too badly bruised and he had a state patroller and a wrecker on the way to dig me out.

so. i had to call my dad. who, an hour and a half before totalled his car - man. Satan was really out to get my family yesterday. i was scared he'd be mad about my vacation (although i'm grown, i usually do tell him when i leave to go somewhere)...and more scared about my accident. he was just glad i was all right. then i called preston. who i probably scared just from the phone call. while i was waiting and thinking about how my life almost ended one of my best friends from chapel hill called me - Jamie - who spent the summer in South Africa...my sister in Christ. perfect timing.

so. i think i see my near death experience as God's way of speaking to me. You know how they say he speaks in terms so that we'll listen? well, i think he speaks to me in terms of death. i had to almost die to get back on track and back in line with my purpose...and caring more about him and myself than a lot of other things i've been focusing on lately, and shouldn't. just the fact that i felt my car on two wheels and it could have easily flipped over...or any of the conditions could have been different - it could have been a cliff instead of a shallow ditch. the trees could have been right there. there coudl have been a barrier up and i could have wrapped my car around the metal pole like a tortilla shell...i could have been ejected from the car and landed on my back and that could have been the end of that.

all i can say is - thank God for second (and third and fourth and, well, numerous undeserved) chances. Thank God for having something greater and more for me to accomplish here that you decided not to take me away last night...and thank you for your messages - even the ones that may hurt us or scare us...and for the ability to listen and heed.

the lesson: slow down (literally), and take it all in. life's not long enough to make too many mistakes...but sometimes, if you need more time to complete your purpose and tasks, i think God will throw in a little grace.

posted by De'La @ 8/13/2005 11:10:00 AM