you incite me to chorus

closing time

that's the title (at least, i think) of this song that is sort of the theme for the way things look to me. like things are wrapping up, ready to transition to other places, other times. and i dont just mean with me. I mean with this world.

i cannot begin to comprehend what has happened to the peoples of the gulf coast. but i can remember a dream I had once, i woke up in a deep sweat, gasping for air, as if i had drowned. in my dream, i did. it was a really big, elaborate dream constructed by my REM and i guess a depiction of what my mind thought at that moment "the end" would be like. I've had more than one of these dreams, I should add. it's kind of weird, really.

anyways. back to the dream. so the dream has me starting on a beach with some friends. we're playing something. i go to change my bathing suit. come back out, dark clouds, thunder. and BAM! lightning flash and it's like a scene change. i'm standin in line with my friend (who is faceless, at least, i can't remember who i had in my dream with me) and we're holding hands, ankle-deep in water. then, another flash. scene change. we're all apologizing to each other. i realize i hadn't apologized to my friend (i can't even begin to imagine what i had done to warrant that) and so i walk up and before i open my mouth, she just simply says "it's okay, i forgive you, He forgives." then we're back in line walking deeper into the water, as if driven by some force beyond our control, only, i could have gotten away, but i was pre-occupied with the fact that my best friend couldn't swim and was walking out to sea. so another flash and we're wiped out by a big wave. a huge, wave. my friend doesn't survive the wave. it's just me and God and Satan. (i add satan in as i look back. i was fighting something in that water) i start praying, saying the Lord's prayer and each line it feels as if my body is getting heavier and heavier, but i'm determined to finish before i go under. i think this is how God is going to end the world. say Amen and sucuumb to the waters rushing into my lungs...then i wake up coughing and gasping for air.

and i mean, i look at the destruction all of the millions of gallons of water dumped into the gulf coast region, and i can't help to think that to them down there, someone's had this experience. I can only pray that they called out to God before they left. but it's kind of scary, having these dreams, seeing pieces of them come to fruition. seeing this one dream that i think has some bits and pieces of prophecy being fulfilled....that's a bit scary on my part, but i shall not reveal it just yet. i dont know. it seems as if maybe i have something greater than me within me, and i'm afraid of it. perhaps i am. maybe i'm just imagining everything, and nothing really exists but time, and we're just images that will fade away -

i hope to at least leave a good impression.

so yeh, this was a bit random, i just had to get my thoughts out on it all.

posted by De'La @ 9/03/2005 07:55:00 PM