you incite me to chorus

God's pulling me back in

So everything happens for a reason. I've been trying to comprehend this past week's happenings but i couldn't. two years and a month ago my grandmother died. let me tell you how this happened. I lost my wallet. in it was everything valuable to me, and everything that makes me a functioning citizen in this world where money and identification rule. so i felt useless. I called my dad who wouldn't tell me he was at my grandmother's death bed, but helped me figure out what to do with the lost information, how to cancel credit cards, etc etc. so on that day i probably called or talked to him like 4 or 5 times in a row - when i normally would call him once a week or every other day or something of the sort.

The last time of the succession of calls, i asked how grandma was doing, he grew silent. I didn't press him but got off of the phone and carried on my way.

he called me back a little later to tell me he didn't want to tell me there, but while i was on the phone with him, she passed away.

further observation of the situation led me to rethink the events and see how God plans things to get you back in line with him, with family, with life. sometimes we get so caught up in the everyday things (here i am/was fretting about three exams and a quiz next week) that we forget the eternal things and the things not of this life, but the next. we think too much on the present and not on the everlasting future.

this epiphany led me to a spiritual awakening among other things, but i remember the series of events sheltered around the loss of a wallet and everything that makes me "something" or "someone" in this material world.

so when i got my wallet stolen this past monday i was like "ok God, what's happening, who's dying?" and it wasn't that someone around me was dying, it was my spiritual self that is/was dying. we are all dying everyday. I'm learning about how the 16th century poets wrote about time's diminishing qualities, and it's true. each day we walk further west (like in my sonnet), and further away from the day we were born, closer to our graves. and i'm learning that each day without God is a lonely existence. Of course, whoever stole my wallet got about 25 bucks in cash from me but thankfully realized that all of the credit cards would be cancelled (within an hour after i perceived it stolen)and debit cards rendered useless.

today i got a package in the mail. I was confused - it was from a Lutheran Church downtown. Someone stole my wallet, gutted it of its monetary value and threw it infront of a Church. The church sent it back to me. I got my wallet back at the "cost" of 25$ but with a value that is ineffable. God's got great ways of speaking to me in terms that he knows i'll listen. And he's learning to speak to me in patterns.

i'm listening. I hear You.

posted by De'La @ 9/23/2005 05:07:00 PM